Hahaha we were on the phone for two hours.

I didn't end up sleeping till three thirty because I had to brush my teeth and spend time with God.

Did that thought enter your mind?

Or did that feeling sneak it's way in there?

Like it did to me?

LAWL. Whatever happens, I'm loving Jesus more than you.

Whatever happens.

If it's in his plan or not.

Whatever...

Happens.

Heh.

I daydreamed love.
I daydreamt love?
I dreamt love?
I daydreamed love.

In the form of a pair of shoes I dreamt my mother slaving... working every day. Coming home feet busted, bruised, blistered... Only to lie down on her bed, turn the TV on till she passed out, then start again.

I dreamt that she bought me a pair of shoes that I had told her that I had liked.
These shoes coast almost a third of the rent that I had to pay. Or rather, that she had to pay.

She proceeded to buy this pair of shoes, even as I argued her not to. Even as I didn't tell her my shoe size, but she proceeded anyway.

I received the shoes.
I was scared to wear them.
I wore them every day, because I loved them.
They tore through.
Became worn.

And then my mother died.
And at her funeral all I could do was cry.

"How can you tell me to rejoice at all the good times we had? You're gone now, up to heaven... I know you'll be waiting for me..."

And then I saw, my Savior, my God.

Washing my feet.

My dirty feet. My feet that had dragged me to places of sin. My feet that led me to sin. My feet that stepped in shit. My feet that stepped over Christ as I went to do what I wanted to do. My feet that kicked Christ as he was down. My feet.

My dirty, fucking feet.

And he washed them. Dried them.

Then he died. On a Cross. For my sins.

That I may have a family, a father, brothers and sisters, forgiveness, grace, redemption, freedom, identity.

Thank you for your Love.

And then I woke back up to my infinity class.

"...you just want to do what you want to do, but then flash your God badge so you can prove that he was 'there with you' as you did it..."

It sounds a lot meaner than how it was actually said.

Can't wait to start ripping apart scripture with you.

=]

i don't want to sleep yet...

I want to talk to somebody...

Blarg.

Waiting.

"Some people are just called to live a tough life."

"Just wait a little... it'll be alright."

Probably, most definitely schooled.