I am tired.

I just cried a bit. Lame.

I wanted to cry more, get it out. It's been a while.

God i sound so fucking pathetic...

Realized something... realized that I always shrink away, I always hate being called on in class because I don't want to be wrong.

Being wrong is an imperfection.

It's funny how you've drilled that into my head Dad.

Everytime I tried to speak to you, you were either too busy, or I was wrong, or it wasn't good enough.

So I shrink away. I don't want to try, I don't want to speak, because I don't want to be wrong. I don't want to be a bad dancer, I don't want to be a shit musician, I don't want to be a shit student. But I end up being bad anyway, and the cycle continues.

Fuck you Dad.

I just want to be perfect.

*

How am I supposed to forgive you?

Sigh.

I forgive you, Dad.