Well now.

So. This is my first post.
Hrmm...
I'll put up something i scribbled down recently.

I wonder if Anyone will actually find my blog xD Hahahah~

Being the nice guy sucks sometimes. It means sacrificing some things you can’t afford to do, otherwise u wouldn’t be the nice guy. Being the nice guy means being dependable, means being the one who’s going to listen to your problems. It means being just nice. It means being able to empathize with people, and move with their ebb and flow of emotions. And I choose to do this, to be someone who can do all of this. But sometimes, people take advantage of that. And that’s what pisses me off.
Do Not, take advantage of me. Do not take me for granted. Because you don’t realize that I’m doing this out of the kindness and compassion in my heart. What’s more is that there is always a choice for me to be there, or not be there for you. There is honestly no reason for me to listen to your fucking sob story. Why should I care about you? Give me a good reason. Do It, come on. Right. There’s no reason for me to care whatsoever. Don’t you dare ever take me for granted.

I don’t necessarily like it when people ask about my personal life. I’ll let you know if I feel like it, but I’m not necessarily going to tell you when you just ask me. This little except, anecdote, whatever, is enough opening up as it is. If I want to speak to you, I will. Please, don’t think that I’m mad at you in particular, because I’m not necessarily mad at you, but maybe at you. I am much more thankful, and I appreciate the fact that you are there for me to talk to. I will use this. Don’t think that I’m just going to shut myself off from the world around me. I’m not. But When I’m ready, I’ll talk. Don’t try to beat it out of me. I appreciate that you are there for me, but I don’t appreciate when you are attempting to beat out what you don’t like in me.
And when I do talk, I want you to understand that like you have connected with me, I’m trying to do the same. Don’t hit my hand away. Because it might be the last time I offer it. Fucking idiot. I will punch your teeth down your throat for this one day.

You used to be superman to me. Did you know that? But you really really proved me wrong. I used to think you were open minded. That you really appreciated what I liked, and took it at face value. Bullshit. You hypocrite. Your just as close-minded as the people you hate. Your jealous, and bitter because other people have more than you do. If you wanted to be like them, why didn’t, no, why don’t you do something? Idiot.

You. I care about you, and I worry about you. And you, we don’t talk much, but I remember you. Don’t beat yourself up please. And you, I’m praying for you, really I am. It’s just hard for me sometimes to keep in touch with you, you, you, and you. Yaknow? I hope you understand, I’m sorry I can’t always be there. I’ll try harder.

I wish I could be there with the girl that I’m in love with. Just to keep her warm. Just to share all the things that she goes though. But it’s hard, and I can’t because of the fact that I’m just shackled up here in North Jersey. You’re so far away, and words can’t express how helpless I feel sometimes. It’s hard to believe all the stuff that you read and see, and about how Love will find a way. But I’m still believing. It’s hard, but I am. Trust me.

It’s hard. Yaknow? Yeah. You do know don’t you. We’ll get through this together, won’t we? You’ll carry me, wont you? You’ll drag me, kicking and screaming, But we’ll make it through. Right? Right. You’re always right. Always.