I'm screaming at the top of my lungs right now.

But it's still all on the inside.

*

If this is all predestined...

ugh. I don't even know.

I don't get it.

I don't get it.

I'm having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep these days...

I'm also scared that I'm actually a like me minor.

But I am getting more comfortable with myself these days, I think.

Which is good. I need to learn to not be so dependent on other people.

I need to learn how to be single.

And just single. Nothing else.

I need to learn to stop objectifying people.

Ugh. God, would your will be done in me, that I would be redeemed not just in the life to come, but in my life right now.

Hey.

Haha.

I gotta get to sleep soon. I have a big day tomorrow.

I'm hanging out with someone awesome. I'm kinda nervous.

Rehearsal for the EP. I'm really excited.

Ah. I'm tired now... I think I'll roll into bed.

but on a more serious note... I feel like I've just let go of God in a way? I need an encounter, a spark, a flame. It just... drained out or something, I don't even know...

asldgsalgdka What is going onnn.

"Don't worry, I'll listen."

I think I know who you are, but I'm not sure.

asl;kdg;alsghas;lgjha;g

Today... was alright.

Actually really good.

Discipline is the start of renewal you know?

...heh. Oral Hygiene is one of the ways to open yourself up to God.

hahaha

"You should write more often on here."

Yea. I kinda transitioned into tumblr for a bit. It was more public and I wanted to be more okay with myself posting things publicly regardless of content. I almost saw it as a way for me to be open.

but...

Eh.

I've been feeling kinda down lately. Don't really wanna share with a lot of people.
It's funny because even the people I'm close to or was close to, I don't really have a desire to open up to them... There are a lot of things bothering me as I type this out, maybe I'll take the time to say all of them. But as of now.

It's basically me being really hard on myself.

'Cause I'm just a fuckton of insecurities and problems.

Oh well.

I'll be back.