Recently....

...I haven't been sleeping well. I feel anxious, even scared to sleep.
I don't necessarily think it's from (gawi-gum) or the fear of demons attacking me, but I can't seem to put my finger on it...

I had an odd dream last night.
It had to do with(in this order), climbing over fences and through dirty houses, getting cockroaches on me, Bullet for my Valentine, a bunch of people being annoying in a parking lot, a friend getting kidnapped by a squid in a sewer system, a flood on a national disaster type scale, then me chasing after this person, meeting up with close friends, getting head from someone who's not my girlfriend, then realizing that I stayed up the whole night but that I wasn't alone and a friend couldn't sleep as well.

Hrm.

I like writing out my thoughts on a piece of paper and then drawing arrows connecting them. Maybe it's some sort of desire to have a beginning and an end hahaha.

I did that yesterday because I had a lot on my mind. There seemed to be two conclusions that stem from a single conclusion of everything is bullshit.

Conclusion A: Existentialism/Nihilism. Because everything is bullshit, you really just do whatever you wanna do. It's like "Once you lose everything... free to do anything" or just kill yourself.

Conclusion B: Because everything is bullshit, you need to depend on something that isn't bullshit. But it seems that everything in this world is fallible. Therefore we depend on Christ: Savior and King.

It's annoying that my mind moves at a hundred miles an hour. My friends all tell me that there's nothing wrong with me. I agree with that. They also tell me, however, that other people think the same way as me. This may be true, but no one else *correction, I'll say like, two/three people* seems that way to me, or at least, no one's letting me know that they feel/think the same way.

Well. I've been back home after my first year at college. A lot has happened. I feel different. I know I am, and I feel that I've grown a lot as well, that I know where I stand on a lot of things now.

I guess that's all for now.

Go read Praise Habit: Finding God In Sunsets And Sushi, by David Crowder, it was an interesting read.

That being said, I'm currently reading Native Speaker by Chang-Rae Lee. I like it.