Sigh. There's no starting point.
...less. is what it seems to me,
persecution of the righteous,
means nothing so,
feel free embark on a journey of...

//fuckthat.

Ionno where to start.
Why bother, honestly.
I'm sick and tired of it.
Of everything, really.
I'm sick and tired of Church, the people there, the false care.
My spiritual life seems so bare...
I don't wanna come back to God.
I don't remember what love is. Or what it feels like to be in love.
Or... even, maybe more importantly,
What it feels like to be loved.
Everything seems to have an ulterior motive...
And I'm such a piece of shit.
I'm not righteous. Why would persecution to me grant me the kingdom of heaven?
When I don't deserve shit.
It's not even like I get shit.
All of these possessions of mine, mean nothing.
It's all bullshit.
Wanna slit my wrists. Get it over with. Maybe finally see God face to face.
I feel like that's something I'd do just to spite him...

What are you gonna use me for? What if I just keep fighting your will? How will you use me then? You said you were gonna raise me up, use me, because for some random as fuck reason you said you had chosen me...

Doesn't change shit. I still feel alone, everywhere I go.
People never ask, never know.

How do you expect me to believe in you God?

Fuck man.

Everything I am, I'm not.

I'm turning into what I hate most.

Scratchin the surface, so much more to get to... if only I could vomit it out at once instead of at multiple intervals during the day...