I am so frustrated...

...with my powerlessness, the fact that I cannot be there telling her not to take ecstasy.
The fact that I cannot be there telling her not to cut herself.
The fact that I cannot be there telling her not to drink.
The fact that I cannot be there telling her to eat.
The fact that I cannot be there like I used to, 'cause I miss this one so much it hurts.
The fact that I cannot be there to hug him and tell him it's okay, that he has a family.
The fact that I cannot bring him out of his shell.
The fact that I cannot get him to stop doing what he's doing.
The fact that I cannot get him to stop sleeping with girls, that there is a security that comes from above.
The fact that I cannot break down his wall of pride.
The fact that I cannot help him understand that there is love, and that he cannot do it on his own.

That God.

You have all of them in your hands.

And I, I AM POWERLESS.

I cannot live for them, I cannot make decisions for them, I cannot bring them to you God.

GOD I AM SO POWERLESS.

And you are POWERFUL.

You have all of them in your hands God.

Each and every single one of them.

God please, take care of them.

But let your will be done.

GOD LET YOUR WILL BE DONE.

I just... wish...

***

Todays sermon was about Joy.

Real joy doesn't come from circumstances. Because the circumstances always change.

Real joy comes from within.

From God.

Christ.

Believing, then having faith in and then knowing,

God.

Christ.

That there is love.

That there is something better.

That we shouldn't die for the ones we love, that we shouldn't dare to die.

That we should dare to live.

That, "I dare you to live."

That we all need...

***

...Rescue.

That we all need love, we all need

a hug.

***

Barry needed a hug.

Barry is homeless.

He stumbled into church on Friday night.

He sat up front.

No one else was sitting there.

He cried when we sang praise.

He cried when I talked to him.

He cried when I prayed for him.

God, you have him in your hands.

God, please...

He cried when we hugged.

God please...

***

God has been speaking to me through dreams.

All the glory goes to him.

I will not become cocky because of this.

...super friends... unite...

We cannot fight the mall master. We cannot fight the machine. We cannot fight the army that is against us.

...but we grow.

God equips us, every single day.

He helps us, every single day.

He teaches us

Guides us

Holds us

Loves us

As the monsters get bigger and bigger, we can face them, day after day after day.

Not on our own, not because of ourselves.

But because of God.

Because God is Good.

All the glory and praise to you God.

***

God send me super friends to fight alongside with me.

***

When I fenced yesterday. You were there God.

You were the one that helped me fence well.

You were the one that got me to top 16.

God.

All the glory goes to you.

Without you, I would not have done well.

Without you, we wouldn't have gotten a car after waking up late, we wouldn't still have made it on time.

We might have died on the freeway... going 105 miles an hour.
We might have not gotten a car, and missed the tournament 'cause we missed the bus.
But your glory prevailed God.

***

It would be so awesome if like...

We could just fight everything with love.


Just imagine an ocean...
Putting out all the fires, drowning everything bad, and us just swimming in all of it...


That would be awesome...

And God is shining down on us...
We're just...

Swimming in his Grace.

And Jesus is there chillin with us...

And they're smiling.

Delighted that we have returned.

And we're smiling.

Overcome with happiness being in his presence.

Oh Happiness...

There is grace enough for us and the whole human race.

We're all smiling.

***

Barry is homeless.

Pray for him.

***

God...

...I'm lost for words.