Thursday, November 19, 2009

Last night...

...I was blind.

I couldn't move very well.

I could only flail around on the floor...

Calling out for help, my mouth could barely open.

It uttered only a grunts, yells, calls.

People walked past me. I couldn't see them, but I could feel them.

Someone helped me up, and for a second my eyes were opened.

It was a fall day. I was in front of the gym.

The sun was shining, and the grass was green.

And I was blind again. To all of this.

I fell down again.

Unable to move.

My body not responding to what I asked it to do.

And then I pleaded to God.

God save me.

Save me...

***

So before I slept I had a talk with a... sister of mine =]

She was scared demons were going to attack her tonight.

She had gotten good at telling when they were going to attack her.

I talked to her about David and Goliath. About Jonah. About suffering.

About how pressure makes charcoal into diamonds.

Refined... the most dazzling precious treasure...

We prayed... that God would protect her if it's his will, that he would send angels down to protect her.

But then I thought... what if God wants this pressure, what if God is sending a storm to make us jump into the water?

Mmmm.

So God, we are so human, give us the ability to grow. More than being saved from demons or not, more than jumping into the ocean or not...

Give us the ability to grow God.

To be transformed...

Yaknow?


***

Instantly, my eyes were opened, and God had saved me.

***

Was it Kawi Kum? Was a demon attacking me, not just in my sleep, but in my dreams as well?

Was I unable to see the pressure? Was I unable to see the storm?

And maybe it's just a dream =]

***

God we cannot fight Goliath without you.

I'm just a kid... I'm still learning God.

I want to grow.

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