Right now...

...I'm feeling so ronery.
Oh so ronery.

haa. ha.

I know that you're here with me God, I know it.
KNOW.

Not THINK.
Not HOPE.

I KNOW.

But yeah.

I can't help but feel kinda lonely God.

***

I had this dream.

There was a wedding, in a giant pool.
Floating seats, laughing guests. Celebration.
Cake, presents, little kids fidgeting in their uncomfortable suits.

All on top of water.

Camera flashes. The bride and groom, hand in hand, walked? swam? floated? down the aisle.

We all clapped and cheered, we were all so happy that they were together, finally united in happiness. Nothing could separate them now.

They kissed.

The band played and they went back down the aisle.
(Hillsong? LOL They were there. It was cool)

We worshipped. It was a time of celebration. The groom and the bride had been united. And all of this happened on top of water.

We made our way back to our houses.
It was a nice neighborhood; green lawns, dogs barking, kids playing in sprinklers.

And we were all hanging out at a house, when the lights shut down. It would've been pitch black if it weren't for the laptop screen and our cellphones somewhat lighting the room.

A shot rang out, there was a hole in the glass, and then a hole in my friend.

***

Ah. Every once in a while I get this feeling, like everyone's gonna fail me and all of my friends are gonna poof.

Right now I'm feeling that.
I'm editing the post, so it's like out of time order... anachronistic?

I think it makes me depend on you more God, because I think that people are just gonna end up leaving me... Which may or may not be a good thing.

God provides me a family, brothers and sisters.

Hrm...

I also think God has blessed me with being multi-racial, to be both a part of things, yet separate as well.

Being separate has made me chase after you God. Bless the Storm.

I don't want my friends to fall to sleep though God. Ah. I care a lot about them. I want to say more than they think, but that would be selfish of me to say.
God you care about them as well.

Ah.

It's all good, as confused as I am.

Even if; I'll keep turning to you. faith+patience.

***

We dropped to the floor, and then the man began to attack.

He teased us.

Hung a girl in front of the door where we could see her.

We tried to shoot at him, fight back, but couldn't do anything.
We saw him coming, from the cracks under the doors, the silhouettes in the windows.
But we could never do anything to retaliate.

We finally escaped, a few of us, following a man, a leader.

Got into a new house, but they were behind us, scaling the telephone poles and wires.

Once we got there, some of them said that we were safe, and that we didn't need to run anymore.

When that was said, they dropped through the ceiling, surrounding us, trying to get at us, to attack us, to kill us.

Clothed in black, they were like ninjas in the way they moved, seamlessly, purposely, with a killer intent.

And There I was, scrambling to get into the car, barely starting it and driving it out of the house before they could catch me and whoever was in the passenger seat.
He was the one who saved us from the house, and was now telling me exactly where to Go.

I had no Idea where we were going, but I trusted him.

We got very far away.

But then I wanted to go back, to save the ones who were left behind.

I turned the car around, and started to drive back.

And then I woke up, at the top of one of the hills, as we rounded the bend before we made it back to the house where my friends were.

***

Did I make it back in time to save them?
Should I have dragged them with me?
Was I too concerned about my own salvation?
If I had brought them with me, would I not feel so alone right now?

Which way do I drive God?

I'll trust in you.

A Blaze.