...that I am me.
That... My desires are a reflection of who I am, not a statement. That I don't need to do good things, necessarily, to be a good person. That... wearing a cross necklace or a cross earring doesn't make me a Christian, but rather what's in my heart. Of course... what's in our hearts manifests itself in actions... but that... God looks at the heart... not the action. And to cut out that middle step... is what judging is. Like saying "You're irresponsible 'cause I saw you get hammered." Is that the case? or is the person irresponsible because he/she is irresponsible? Or even that maybe he/she just had a bad day and decided to drink as a result? The good deeds I do... come from my heart. Not from the need for good deeds... I don't think there are shoes or responsibilities that I necessarily need to fill, aside from sharing the love that God has so graciously shown me.
That being said again... because I am struggling with this ever-elusive "me" I don't understand this unconditional love, nor the freedom that comes with Christ's sacrifice for us. What is this freedom? We say it is submitting to the right 'causes that we find as just or right. That, more or less, freedom is that choice. But the freedom comes first. Not the choices. You think you are free when you are pursuing pleasure? Or fulfilling the law? Or are you truly free because of the sacrifice of Christ; that says, you don't have to do this, or have to do that, because you are justified in me. This freedom is that, because we cannot fulfill the law in front of us, because we aren't perfect, we don't need to be. That we don't have to live up to any expectations or standards, because God loves us. We don't take this freedom and run with it, or do whatever with it, but we live in it and share it. We share this love that we received and we share it. We don't use it as an excuse to get hammered or smoke pot or maybe even just to get up later in the day. It, instead, gives us the freedom to be. God says to us, "You don't have to look like anyone to be good in my eyes. That you are fine just the way you are."
No?
Well, what is in my heart? Hah. I don't really know =P
I want to play music that's for sure. I want to help others. I want to bring the love of God. I want to understand the love of God. I would like a girlfriend who will eventually become my wife. I want to become a judge. I would like to re-pierce my ears. Are these things considered sinful? I don't really think so...
Hrm.
I don't even know if I really understood what I just wrote... HAHAHAHA.
Lame.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
So I'm thinking...
Posted by 10gu at 1:26 PM
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